Brian's story
“I am a scientist, and I want my story to be truthful and accurate”.
Brian’s story.
A surprising and privileged aspect of my work is spending time with those who wish to
organise their own funeral and have their Eulogy (life story) pre-written, along with planning
their chosen Music and Readings for their service, before they die.
I received a call from Beth (the daughter of my client), not unusual, except she was calling
me on her fathers behalf, and he was still living. Beth asked if I could meet with them both
and write her dad, Brian’s, funeral eulogy while he was still living.
Arriving on a beautiful spring morning in a living room that looked out on a stunning display
of spring bulbs in full bloom, Beth introduced me to her dad, who was now mostly
housebound.
Brian gave me a warm smile, and I asked if I could sit next to him. With a twinkle in his eye,
he said no, not there, and then smiled broadly and said, "Yes, of course I could sit there”.
Brian, now 96 years young, had been to a recent colleagues funeral and said that he had
known this gentleman all his life, and it was obvious that neither the officiant on the day nor
the family knew him, because the eulogy was, in his words, “a lot of Twaddle “.
He then said, “I am a scientist, and I want my story to be truthful and accurate”. It transpired
that he was indeed an eminent scientist, known internationally for his work, and that he had
jotted down some key dates and stories from his life. What he really wanted me to write
about was his life with his adored wife (whom he greatly missed and had nursed with a
debilitating illness until she died, 10 years before), his three children and his grandchildren.
Brian was a gifted photographer and showed me many photos of the mountain ranges
across Europe that he had photographed over the years on family holidays there, in both
summer and winter.
Asking him about his early life, when he met his wife, what he loved about her, and their life
together before they had their family, his eyes literally “lit up”.
We briefly talked about his work and then at length about his love of the outdoors, including
sailing, and he burst with pride when talking about his garden. When he could no longer do
the gardening, he asked a younger friend who loved to help him out, and it remained his
pride and joy.
With no time pressure, I visited Brian 3 times. The next time, his other daughter, Susan, was
there, and we spent more time talking about their childhoods and holidays. It was a privilege
to be there, curating the words to tell this familys story.
We then discussed the music he would like played and why he has chosen this music. I
found two very beautiful readings about gardens and their significance in our lives.
Brian chose one for his service.
He then shared what he wanted to wear and where he wanted the wake to be held. He
insisted on a sit-down meal with music and a cake to share with everyone. He knew
everyone would be sad for a while, but he genuinely wanted everyone to know he had loved
his wife, his family, and his life, and that he felt a lucky man. So that should be celebrated.
As I left that last meeting with him, I looked him in the eye and thanked him for sharing his
life story with me. I then asked Brian, "May I ask how you knew of my Celebrant services?"
With hesitation, he said,” My dear, I googled you on my IPAD” and we all had a giggle.
As I left the house, Susan took me to the front door and said, I was initially against this, but
Beth told me how animated Dad was talking to you about his life, so I wanted to see it for
myself. Susan then shared that “she had learned things about her Mum and Dad that she
never knew, and was eternally grateful that she heard them from Brians own words".
Footnote – When Beth eventually called to say her father had died, about 8 months later,
she asked if we could meet again. At this meeting, I met Brian’s son, who lived abroad. All
three of his children wanted to share that although their dad had talked briefly about his
work, they wanted to add how proud they were of him (in fact, he was a world-renowned
leader in his field, having won international awards for his innovations and developments).
We added this as an addendum to Brian’s own words, and one of his grandsons played one
of the musical instrumentals that Brian has chosen. It was a truly family-led, beautiful
service, and so fitting for this gentleman, and everyone remarked about how wonderful it
was listening to his “true” life story.
Without knowing, he had left a true legacy for his family and friends.
Future wishes.
I have since spoken to 8 different families, and their loved ones’ wishes and stories are
safely held until they are needed for their funerals.
About Fiona Mac Celebrant
Fiona Mac is an award-winning, accredited independent
Celebrant living in Abingdon, delivering ceremonies across Oxfordshire and neighbouring
counties. Fiona is a founding member of the Celebrant Circle.
With a lifetime of presenting and public speaking, Fiona offers a truly personal service to
curate, write and deliver ceremony scripts that are joyful, meaningful, reflect your values and
delight, whether it is for your Wedding, Vow Renewal, Baby or Naming ceremony, or an end-of-life celebration or Memorial.
Instagram : fionamac.celebrant
Celebrant Circle Ltd - is the Gold Standard in Celebrant Training across the UK and Overseas
