Why sharing stories can help those who are dying and those who are left behind.

Brian's story

Mon, 20 Apr 2026 05:15:00 GMT

“I am a scientist, and I want my story to be truthful and accurate”.

Brian’s story.

A surprising and privileged aspect of my work is spending time with those who wish to

organise their own funeral and have their Eulogy (life story) pre-written, along with planning

their chosen Music and Readings for their service, before they die.

I received a call from Beth (the daughter of my client), not unusual, except she was calling

me on her fathers behalf, and he was still living. Beth asked if I could meet with them both

and write her dad, Brian’s, funeral eulogy while he was still living.

Arriving on a beautiful spring morning in a living room that looked out on a stunning display

of spring bulbs in full bloom, Beth introduced me to her dad, who was now mostly

housebound.

Brian gave me a warm smile, and I asked if I could sit next to him. With a twinkle in his eye,

he said no, not there, and then smiled broadly and said, "Yes, of course I could sit there”.

Brian, now 96 years young, had been to a recent colleagues funeral and said that he had

known this gentleman all his life, and it was obvious that neither the officiant on the day nor

the family knew him, because the eulogy was, in his words, “a lot of Twaddle “.

He then said, “I am a scientist, and I want my story to be truthful and accurate”. It transpired

that he was indeed an eminent scientist, known internationally for his work, and that he had

jotted down some key dates and stories from his life. What he really wanted me to write

about was his life with his adored wife (whom he greatly missed and had nursed with a

debilitating illness until she died, 10 years before), his three children and his grandchildren.

Brian was a gifted photographer and showed me many photos of the mountain ranges

across Europe that he had photographed over the years on family holidays there, in both

summer and winter.

Asking him about his early life, when he met his wife, what he loved about her, and their life

together before they had their family, his eyes literally “lit up”.

We briefly talked about his work and then at length about his love of the outdoors, including

sailing, and he burst with pride when talking about his garden. When he could no longer do

the gardening, he asked a younger friend who loved to help him out, and it remained his

pride and joy.

With no time pressure, I visited Brian 3 times. The next time, his other daughter, Susan, was

there, and we spent more time talking about their childhoods and holidays. It was a privilege

to be there, curating the words to tell this familys story.

We then discussed the music he would like played and why he has chosen this music. I

found two very beautiful readings about gardens and their significance in our lives.

Brian chose one for his service.

He then shared what he wanted to wear and where he wanted the wake to be held . He

insisted on a sit-down meal with music and a cake to share with everyone. He knew

everyone would be sad for a while, but he genuinely wanted everyone to know he had loved

his wife, his family, and his life, and that he felt a lucky man. So that should be celebrated.

As I left that last meeting with him, I looked him in the eye and thanked him for sharing his

life story with me. I then asked Brian, "May I ask how you knew of my Celebrant services?"

With hesitation, he said,” My dear, I googled you on my IPAD” and we all had a giggle.

As I left the house, Susan took me to the front door and said, I was initially against this, but

Beth told me how animated Dad was talking to you about his life, so I wanted to see it for

myself. Susan then shared that “she had learned things about her Mum and Dad that she

never knew, and was eternally grateful that she heard them from Brians own words".

Footnote – When Beth eventually called to say her father had died, about 8 months later,

she asked if we could meet again. At this meeting, I met Brian’s son, who lived abroad. All

three of his children wanted to share that although their dad had talked briefly about his

work, they wanted to add how proud they were of him (in fact, he was a world-renowned

leader in his field, having won international awards for his innovations and developments).

We added this as an addendum to Brian’s own words, and one of his grandsons played one

of the musical instrumentals that Brian has chosen. It was a truly family-led, beautiful

service, and so fitting for this gentleman, and everyone remarked about how wonderful it

was listening to his “true” life story.

Without knowing, he had left a true legacy for his family and friends.

Future wishes.

I have since spoken to 8 different families, and their loved ones’ wishes and stories are

safely held until they are needed for their funerals.

About Fiona Mac Celebrant

Fiona Mac is an award-winning, accredited independent

Celebrant living in Abingdon, delivering ceremonies across Oxfordshire and neighbouring

counties. Fiona is a founding member of the Celebrant Circle.

With a lifetime of presenting and public speaking, Fiona offers a truly personal service to

curate, write and deliver ceremony scripts that are joyful, meaningful, reflect your values and

delight, whether it is for your Wedding, Vow Renewal, Baby or Naming ceremony, or an end-of-life celebration or Memorial.

www.fionamaccelebrant.co.uk

Instagram : fionamac.celebrant

Celebrant Circle Ltd - is the Gold Standard in Celebrant Training across the UK and Overseas

www.celebrantcircle.com

What is fear ?

Tue, 14 Apr 2026 07:00:08 GMT

How choosing love over fear enabled my Grandad to die as he wished

What is fear?

Fear can mean different things to many different people. It can keep us safe, it can protect us, but it can also hold us back and prevent us from having experiences. Experiences that would never have been there had we stayed under the bubble of fear.

On my journey, I've discovered two opposing forces in this reality. One is fear, and the other is love, and the further I walk my path, I see that love is the answer to everything. But love doesn't mean keeping yourself hidden away. Love doesn't mean avoiding things, and that includes difficult conversations.

Now, the reason I speak of this is that when I trained to be a Soul Doula, I learned how a grounded, loving presence is the only way to hold space for someone on their end-of-life journey.

In our culture, we've been raised to not upset people, to not say things, to keep quiet and especially, not to talk about death! Death is a total no-no.

So as my granddad was nearing the end of his life, I was faced with a dilemma. It's easy for me to say as a young man to talk about death, because, well, I don't know when I'm going to die, but I don't think it's going to be any time soon! Saying that, you never know, but as the law of evolution and age goes, I'm probably going to be here longer than Grandad.

So, for a young man to talk to a man who was 87 about death, the chances are my grandad's going to experience death before me, and I didn't want to upset him because of this. However, there were certain things I felt had to be said, so I chose love one day instead of fear, and I chose courage too. I said, "Grandad, how do you feel about dying?" His whole body language shifted, he looked me in the eye, and there was almost a sense of relief that someone had actually asked him how he was feeling, and that this subject that was fast approaching him was actually being covered. He said, "No fear. Why do you ask?"

I explained to him that I was doing my Soul Doula training, and that it's important that we have our end-of-life plans, that we have birth plans, so why can't we empower ourselves, at the end-of-life?

I said, Grandad, you matter. Is there anything that you want? Just by saying those words, it unravelled a whole conversation that may have previously never been experienced had I not listened to love and followed fear - the voice of the mind.

From that, we were able to draw up an end-of-life plan and establish what he would want. We also did some breathing exercises, and he agreed to some Reiki! My grandad was an old school kind of guy, so Reiki was unheard of, but he agreed to it, and he loved it.

I also explained to my grandad that the hearing sense is the last sense to go, so he would hear everything up until his last moments. So, what would he want to hear in his last moments here? How would he want to be? One of the main things we touched upon was that Grandad wanted to be clean-shaven. He was always a hard-working, working-class man and always had a clean-shaven face, so that was written in his end-of-life plan.

He also wanted me to read Bible passages to him because being a Soul Doula means you spiritually, emotionally, and holistically support the dying, no matter what your beliefs are. You enable and facilitate the most empowering death possible.

So, we wrote Bible passages down, the Book of Ruth was a main one, and there were other passages that he would like read to him too.

Certain audio tracks that he would like too were requested - Land of Hope and Glory, that was a great one! What a way to go out. We also spoke as to where he would like to die. The whole experience still makes me cry with love.

Grandad took his last breath in hospital, as this is what his health Power of Attorneys decided was best in the end, because of how he deteriorated. Grandad didn't die at home, which was one of his wishes but we still did our best to facilitate his requests.

We did as much as we could for his end-of-life plans. He was clean-shaven up until the last day of his life; he went with a little bit of stubble, but I think he'd have been happy with that. We all sat with him, as a family, as he was moved into a side room. It was very peaceful. I wasn't there for his actual last breath; I missed it by a few hours.

In the side room, when I returned after being informed of his death, the family stayed and laughed about old stories and talked about how Grandad always said everything was 'perfectly fine' even when it wasn't. The family then left, and it was just Grandad's body and me in the room. I just stayed with him and sat in silence and meditated next to him, feeling gratitude and love for all he had done for me.

I stared at his body, and I could see how that shell, that vehicle, had done its work for this lifetime, yet who and what was the essence of my grandad can never be destroyed. It is just transformed.

I continued to sit with his body that day, with a little bit of stubble on his face, and read him the book of Ruth, just him and me.

It was a beautiful moment, and even though his heart had stopped beating, I knew this was what he wanted. I knew the essence of who he was could still feel my intentions behind the act. Part of me did feel initially guilty that I couldn't be there when he died to read this, but I let that go. Guilt is useless in times like that, and often loved ones frequently die alone, as this is a doorway for them to leave, as love and bonds often keep them in this world. If you missed a loved one's passing, drop the guilt; it was perfect and meant to be like that - self-punishment is not love, it's a form of fear.

By reading the verse Grandad had requested, it gave us that beautiful closure, and as I got to the last paragraph of the book of Ruth, I cried as I saw the poignant message in which he had left me through the final words of that passage.

I took it as a sign of how he had perceived me throughout his life, and this was being communicated to me from beyond the grave, if you like, a little parting gift. That moment will stay with me forever.

So, I say to you, what would love do? Love loves everyone unconditionally; love does not have conditions. It loves everyone, and it tells the truth. But telling the truth is sometimes saying what nobody wants to say, but that can often be the most empowering and loving thing. Whereas fear will keep you small, keep you hidden, and prevent situations from happening that may change the world and a person's life forever.

So today, choose love, love everyone, and tell the truth. If you have a member of your family who is currently dying, don't resist it, don't deny it, for this creates more suffering.

Approach the subject of death gently with them. What would they like? It may be a relief that someone is talking about the elephant in the room, and through that, may make their dying journey easier. It may offer them the opportunity to feel true connection and release some of their fear surrounding death.

Love can dissolve the boundaries of death that we have created in our fearful Western society. So, choose love, and if you can, even have some fun if you can with your own end-of-life planning, and I promise you it will empower you and everyone around you. By helping someone else plan their end-of-life journey, it will empower them and change that dying person's life forever.

David E Jones

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www.theawakeningofdeath.com

The Role Of The Coroners Officer

Sun, 05 Apr 2026 17:16:04 GMT

Greetings all,

My name is Michelle Clayford and I’m an Independent Celebrant and Death Worker. I’m very passionate about ensuring that we break the taboos around death and dying to ensure we have a good death. I offer a range of services and training. I was a Coroner’s Officer in West Yorkshire for two years and it’s a subject people don’t tend to know a lot about. This causes a lot of distress at a very difficult time. The following is a blog post about a very common situation that I’ve dealt with many times.

‘My loved one died and the police came out. Now they’re saying that the body is with the Coroner. What happens now?’

I'd firstly like to say how sorry I am for your loss. This is a very confusing and difficult time which won't be helped by the Coroner (HMC) being involved. As an ex Coroner's Officer, I have a unique understanding of what families endure at this time. Secondly, police involvement doesn't necessarily mean any foul play. If a death occurs at home or in public, police will attend. This is normally to establish what has happened and sometimes to provide initial first aid. If needed, they'll also set up a scene guard to prevent any loss of evidence.

When someone dies there are a number of reasons why HMC may become involved. Firstly, their death may be sudden or unexpected. It may be that although they had a known illness, that they hadn't seen a doctor in the last 14 days, so their GP can't issue a cause of death. It may be there was an accident or violent circumstances or even a drug related reason. HMC involvement will delay matters somewhat and it's important to tell your Funeral Director that HMC is involved. Please don't book a date for the service until you've been able to register the death and all the relevant paperwork is available. This can be costly and incredibly inconvenient to sort out. A post-mortem (PM), an examination of the body by a special doctor, will need to take place, potentially tissue samples will be taken and an Inquest may need to be opened and adjourned.

As you can imagine, this all takes time and there'll be a lot of information to absorb. Your case will be assigned a Coroner's Officer who'll keep you up to date with what's happening. Do be aware, your person will not be their only case, so please be patient with them. If a natural cause of death is identified immediately at the PM, then HMC will normally accept this and the body will be released to your Funeral Director, the relevant paperwork sent to the Registrars and a date can be set for the funeral.

Now, if the cause of death is not natural, if drugs or neglect or violence is involved, an Inquest will go ahead. This doesn't mean you can't have a funeral or that you will have to wait many months for one. You will need to wait for the Inquest to be opened and adjourned before you can set a date for the funeral though. This may take a week or so, depending on the area you live. You'll be issued Interim Death Certificates that can be used like a normal death certificate by HMC. Again, keep your Funeral Director updated. There may be circumstances where you may choose to wait for a funeral. If tissue samples or organs have been removed for further investigations, some people choose to reunite them with the body before a funeral happens. Be aware that this may take many months and may obviously be distressing. You can still have a service without the body and then hold another one later when they've returned to you. Other people choose to have a funeral with the body and either donate the organs or samples to medical science or choose to inter them after they've been returned.

If someone died from a violent death and the police have arrested someone, then this complicates matters even more. Each suspect is entitled to have a Forensic PM performed on the deceased, which obviously causes distress to family. A criminal case may take many months to reach trial and the body may not be released for much longer. However, HMC will be keen to release someone back to the family as soon as possible. The police need to be satisfied that they've obtained all the relevant information and all suspects have had the opportunity to examine the body. In this instance, an Inquest is likely to be closed after the criminal case has been heard as it's likely that all the evidence has been heard in criminal court.

HMC involvement is difficult, at times unavoidable and you can't opt out of it as much as you'd like to. HMC exists to establish certain facts and provides a vital evidence-gathering duty. However, it can cause distress to families. The ultimate goal though, is to give you answers.

100% Human Written

#death #dying #HMC #Coroner #funeral #grief #celebrant #interimdeathcertificate #postmortem #forensicpostmortem

How you can contact me

Michelle Clayford (she/her)

Independent Celebrant

07941541488

+44 7941541488

www.blackcatsandunicorns.co.uk

Why Sharing Our Stories Matters – Even When It Feels Hard.

Thu, 19 Mar 2026 04:47:22 GMT

I work in a space that many people avoid.

I sit with people at the end of their lives. I stand at the front of rooms helping families say

goodbye. I teach professionals, carers, and communities how to talk about death in ways

that are open, compassionate and informed.

And here’s what I know to be true - The fear of talking about death is almost always worse

than the conversation itself.

As a soul midwife, my work is about presence. It’s about holding space when life is fragile,

and time feels precious. I support people who are dying and the people who love them. I

witness the quiet moments, the unfinished conversations, the things that matter deeply

when everything else falls away.

And do you know what comes up again and again? ‘I wish we’d talked about this sooner’.

Not in a dramatic way. Not with regret that swallows everything. Just a gentle recognition

that it would have helped. That knowing someone’s wishes, their fears, their preferences,

their stories – would have made things lighter.

As a funeral celebrant, I see the other side of that. I sit at kitchen tables with families who

are trying to piece together a life. They are tired. They are grieving. And they want to do

their person justice.

Sometimes they know exactly what Mum would have wanted. They know the music, the

readings, the colours, the tone. They know the stories because they’ve been shared.

Other times, they are guessing. And guessing is heavy.

When we haven’t talked about what matters to us, the people left behind carry the weight

of making decisions in the dark. They worry about getting it wrong. They replay choices in

their minds long after the day has passed.

Talking about death isn’t about being morbid. It’s about being kind.

As a death educator, I spend a lot of time normalising these conversations. I run workshops,

I teach professionals, I speak openly about mortality because I believe knowledge reduces

fear. When we understand our options. When we explore what we value. When we reflect

on what makes a life meaningful. We become less afraid of the subject and more

empowered within it.

And woven through all of this is story. Story is everything. The stories we tell about our

childhood. The stories about what shaped us. The things that make us laugh. The music that

moves us. The values we want carried forward. The lessons we hope our children

remember.

When someone dies, those stories become anchors. They give comfort. They give identity.

They give continuity.

Sharing our stories while we are still here is a gift. It says, ‘This is who I am. This is what

matters to me. This is how I want to be remembered'.

Yes, it can feel emotional. Of course, it can. Talking about death touches something deep in

us. It asks us to acknowledge that life is finite. But here’s the truth I’ve learned from sitting

at bedsides and standing beside coffins:

Avoiding the conversation does not make the reality easier. In fact, it often makes it harder.

When we choose to speak, to document, to share, we remove uncertainty. We reduce

anxiety. We give the people we love clarity. And clarity, at a time of crisis, is one of the

greatest acts of care.

This is where tools like the Legacy Share app feel so powerful.

Because not everyone is ready to sit down for a two-hour heart-to-heart conversation. Not

everyone knows how to start. Sometimes we need gentle prompts. Sometimes we need a

structured space to record our thoughts, our memories, our wishes. Legacy Share creates

that space.

It encourages us to capture our stories while we can. To store our voice, our words, our

preferences. To share not just the practical details, but the human details.

Who we are. What we love. What we believe. What we want

That information is priceless.

I have seen families light up when they hear a story they didn’t know. I have watched grief

soften when someone realises, ‘This is exactly what Dad would have wanted’. I have seen

the relief that comes when there are written wishes to guide decisions.

And beyond death, there is something else. Having these conversations changes how we

live.

When we reflect on what matters at the end, we often adjust what matters now. We

prioritise differently. We speak more honestly. We repair relationships. We say the things

we mean to say. Mortality sharpens clarity.

My work isn’t about selling death. It’s about supporting life by acknowledging its limits. It’s

about helping people approach the inevitable with courage, information, and compassion.

Whether that’s sitting quietly with someone who is dying. Crafting a ceremony that truly

reflects a life. Teaching a room full of professionals how to hold space. Or encouraging

someone to document their legacy.

It all comes back to the same thing - Connection.

The more we share, our wishes, our stories, our vulnerabilities, the more supported we all

become. We do not have to do this alone.

Talking about death won’t make it arrive any sooner. But it will make it less frightening. And

sharing who we are while we are here ensures that when our time does come, the people

we love are not left guessing.

They will know.

And that knowing is a profound act of love; it is a gift.

Willow coffins have become a popular choice for both burial and cremation.

Thu, 12 Mar 2026 08:00:04 GMT

Sustainable, British made coffins, such as those from Wegnalls Willow Coffins are available.

In recent years, families have been choosing more environmentally friendly funeral options and willow coffins have become a popular choice for both burial and cremation. But not all willow coffins are equal, with many being mass produced and imported from Eastern Europe or Asia. A willow coffin is seen as an eco-friendly choice but it carries a substantial carbon footprint when shipped across continents.

However there are sustainable, British made coffins available, such as those from Wegnalls Willow Coffins. Each coffin is handmade by Steph Shaw on a small farm in rural Herefordshire, not far from where her willow is grown. Each coffin is woven to order, and families are invited to visit the workshop, add their own personal touches, and even help weave a small section themselves. This blog offers an insight into the background and values behind her business.

What is the story behind Wegnalls Willow Coffins?

by Steph Shaw

I became interested in willow coffins after my Grandad died, as his was the first coffin I had seen. But it felt strange at the funeral seeing the veneer coffin which seemed too large, angular and impersonal. So I began to research alternatives to the ‘traditional’ coffin, something with a personal connection and deeper sense of meaning for the family.

At the time I was half way through my City & Guilds qualification in Basketry, so willow coffins were the obvious choice. I went on a course with another independent maker to learn how to weave a willow coffin and my business has grown from there.

Since December 2024, I have been proud offer FFMA accredited willow coffins for cremation across the UK, alongside different design options for burial and natural burial grounds. This gives customers the peace of mind that in choosing one of our coffins, they are getting a strong, safe and beautiful final resting place for their loved one.

At the heart of my work is a commitment to sustainability, connection, compassion and craftsmanship. These values are reflected in every coffin I weave.

Sustainability

Willow is a fast growing, renewable crop which is easily grown from a single stick planted into the ground. Each winter, the year’s growth is harvested and it will re-grow again from the same cutting for decades! The willow beds have other benefits such as storing carbon dioxide from the atmosphere, creating habitats for birds, insects and small mammals, and their roots help prevent erosion of the riverbank.

I planted my willow beds three years ago, and the yield is still increasing each year with how much willow I am able to harvest. Whilst I purchase some willow from commercial growers in Somerset, I hope to be self-sufficient in the next few years as my willow beds establish and I am able to expand.

I love this circular aspect of the craft. Growing the willow within sight of my workshop, and weaving it into coffins that return to the earth just feels right. Even when cremated, the carbon footprint is far lower than using imported willow or slow-growing hardwoods. It’s local, renewable and rooted in care for the land.

Connection

Working closely with families and building a community is very important to me.

I welcome families to come and weave a section of the willow coffin, if they would like to. From experience I have found that this can help form a connection with the natural materials. It also make the coffin feel less scary or daunting when viewed for the first time. Especially compared to when it is first seen at a funeral, which is something that I feel would have helped me when seeing my Grandad’s coffin.

Families are also invited to add their own touches to the coffin. By adding these personal and special items, there is a greater sense of connection between the coffin, family and loved one that it is for. I recently made a coffin for a lady that loved to knit and some of her woollen creations were incorporated into the weaving around the handles. Another coffin was for person who used to help with a friend’s willow harvest, so we added some freshly cut willows and catkins from their willow patch into the weaving.

Compassion

Compassion, care and empathy are at the core of my work, and my reason why I do this. I believe that a coffin is the most special basket that you can make for someone. It means a lot to me to help families, at such a difficult time, to weave a willow coffin that is not only beautiful, but also personal and made with care.

Craftsmanship

I’m a perfectionist! I value attention to detail, ensuring each coffin or basket is strong, beautiful and made to the highest standards.

In 2023, I gained a distinction in my City & Guilds qualification in Basketry. Whilst I am a skilled weaver, I’m always looking at new ways to improve my knowledge and skills. Usually this means learning techniques from other experienced basketmakers and industry professionals. This helps me continually refine my work and maintain high standards of craftsmanship.

Whether you’re planning ahead or making arrangements now, you can get in touch with Steph through the Wegnalls Willow Coffins website.

https://wegnallswillowcoffins.co.uk/

New paragraph

Introducing Aura Flights

Sun, 09 Nov 2025 09:00:24 GMT

Aura Flights ushers in the final frontier of memorialisation

With the practice of cremation dating back thousands of years, you’d be forgiven for assuming that the market for ash-based memorialisation had reached maturity many generations ago. In reality though, the sector seems to be going through something of a golden era right now, with new and innovative remembrance services popping up on a regular basis. From transforming ashes into a memorial diamond to incorporating them into a

bespoke wind chime – and seemingly everything in between – there’s never been more choice when it comes to commemorating a loved one.

Space scattering

Memorialisation has clearly come a long way in the last decade or so, but there’s one service in particular that’s taking remembrance to its final frontier – quite literally. Aura Flights is a UK-based space memorialisation company that scatters ashes from 100,000 feet above the surface of the Earth. Since 2017, this remarkable service has helped over 250 passengers embark on a truly breath taking final journey in the arms of the stratospheric

winds, and all at less than the cost of an average burial.

Who is it for?

Perhaps it goes without saying, but space scattering often resonates with individuals who have a passion for flight, the universe or science fiction. However, it can also make for a fitting tribute to those with an adventurous spirit or someone who has always found comfort in the concept of ‘infinity’. The idea of scattering ashes in space can also be appealing for those lacking an especially meaningful memorial site here on Earth, with the boundless

nature of space offering a unique sense of transcendence.

Beyond the clouds

The voyage begins by storing the passenger’s ashes in a scatter vessel designed to securely contain the precious payload throughout its final journey. It’s then attached to an enormous stratospheric balloon filled with lighter-than-air hydrogen gas, which provides it with the lift needed to travel through the atmosphere and into space. Once at 120,000 feet above the Earth’s surface, where the environment is gloriously serene, the vessel will open

to release the ashes into space in an elegant cascade – with dedicated cameras memorialising the moment for family and friends.

Traversing the globe

Over the next three to six months, the ashes will traverse the globe many times over in the arms of the stratospheric winds, gradually spreading out until their presence covers the entire world. Little by little, the ashes will then descend into the lower portions of the atmosphere, where each particle acts as a nucleation point for precipitation, allowing passengers to reach their final resting place as raindrops and snowflakes.

It doesn’t cost the Earth

It may surprise you to learn that these flights are also environmentally friendly, unlike competitor offerings that rely on rockets to transport their passengers’ ashes into space. Aura Flights exclusively employs biodegradable balloons filled with sustainably-generated

hydrogen to minimise environmental impact and protect our precious home planet. No nasty rocket fuel emissions here!

The ultimate final journey

Aura Flights provides a unique and environmentally-conscious way for friends and family to honour the memory of a loved one, with the included memorial video making for a deeply moving tribute that can be watched and shared ad infinitum. Whether honouring someone with a passion for the stars or paying tribute to an adventurous spirit, scattering ashes in space combines the act of remembrance with the wonder of the universe for a truly

breath taking send-off.

Update Report on Petition to Add Content on Death, Dying, and Bereavement into the National Curriculum

Mon, 03 Mar 2025 16:44:09 GMT

Update Report on Petition to Add Content on Death, Dying, and Bereavement into the National Curriculum.

APPG for Bereavement – Update Report on Petition to Add Content on Death, Dying, and Bereavement into the National Curriculum

Date: 1 ^st February 2025

Prepared by: John Adams

Overview

Following the successful parliamentary debate on December 2, 2024 , regarding the petition to integrate death, dying, and bereavement education into the national curriculum, this report provides an update on the progress made, key takeaways from the debate, and the next steps for implementation.

Parliamentary Debate – December 2, 2024

The debate saw overwhelming support from MPs across party lines, demonstrating a collective recognition of the importance of bereavement education in schools. Key points from the debate include:

Strong Cross-Party Support: MPs spoke in favour of the motion, acknowledging the necessity of preparing young people with the knowledge and emotional literacy to navigate loss and grief.
Personal Reflections: Many MPs shared deeply personal experiences of bereavement, making this one of the most emotionally resonant debates in recent times.
Acknowledgment of Societal Need: The discussion underscored the wider societal impact of grief and the need for structured support through education.

The response from government representatives was encouraging , with a commitment to explore practical ways to incorporate bereavement education within existing curriculum frameworks.

Next Steps

Formation of a Cross-Party Group: A dedicated cross-party group will be established to assess how bereavement education can be effectively implemented within the national curriculum. This group will bring together MPs, bereavement experts, educators, and representatives from the funeral and counselling sectors.
Stakeholder Engagement: Engagement with educational bodies, charities, and bereavement organisations will continue to ensure that the curriculum proposals are evidence-based and age-appropriate.
Pilot Program Exploration: The possibility of piloting bereavement education in select schools will be explored, with findings informing wider implementation strategies.
Government Consultation: Ongoing discussions with the Department for Education will help shape policy direction and determine the most effective means of integrating bereavement education into schools.
Public and Professional Awareness Campaign: Raising awareness among educators, parents, and students about the benefits of bereavement education will be an essential component of the campaign moving forward. John Adams is to feature again on BBC in February / March as the BBC are very interested in this specific petition and campaign. John is also discussing the campaign at the Australian Funeral Association conference in Vietnam at the end of March as they too are interested in implementing.

Conclusion

The success of the December 2nd debate marks a significant milestone in the campaign for bereavement education. The powerful testimonials shared by MPs highlight a collective willingness to drive real change in how we prepare young people for one of life’s most challenging realities.

The next steps will focus on translating support into action , ensuring that bereavement education becomes a standard part of school learning in a way that is meaningful, compassionate, and effective.

The APPG for Bereavement will continue to be an important platform to highlight the importance of the campaign.

Picture attached: Stuart Anderson MP, John Adams and Kevin Bonavia MP.

Should we teach children about death in school?

services@isev.co.uk (Leon Blair) — Sat, 03 Feb 2024 13:22:10 GMT

"NAFD President John Adams has launched a parliamentary petition calling for all school age children to be taught about death, dying and bereavement in schools as part of compulsory PHSE"

I lost my Mother, Maria, when I was 12 years of age. The experience gave me a heightened level of compassion and I feel passionately about involving children in funerals and in the grieving process.

On average 111 children in the UK lose a parent every day. And although schools provide a key support mechanism for bereaved children, pupils are unlikely to have spent any time learning about death and grief in the safe space of the classroom ahead of the bereavement. Many schools do not have any form of procedure in place when a student suffers a close loss.

"It is our belief at the National Association of Funeral Directors that Schools should be required to provide age-appropriate education to help children understand death as a part of life, and they must be properly resourced to support all children who suffer a bereavement".

For a child, their immediate family is their life – and despite us wanting to protect children from sadness and loss, we can’t avoid this part of living.

When I arrange funerals I try to incorporate younger members of families into the arrangements and listen to what they need. They may not want to be involved, but they can have a choice. With the right information and education, younger people can be empowered, resulting in a more positive way forward after the funeral has taken place.

Before the funeral

But I believe there is a lot we can do before we get to a funeral. That’s why I’ve set up a petition asking for all schools to be required to provide age-appropriate education to help children understand death as a part of life, as part of compulsory relationships education. We can’t take away the pain of someone dying, but having the discussions before children suffer a loss will mean that they at least have important knowledge in place beforehand.

Age-appropriate conversations in the classroom can help to dispel some of the fear and anxiety that children naturally feel when they experience a person close to them dying. Death is depicted in cartoons, in books and films but children are rarely included in discussions about dying and grief, leaving them isolated and bewildered when faced with the loss of a loved one. Discussions around how characters in their stories may feel when they suffer a loss, like in many Disney films, is simply providing clarity at what can be a confusing time – let’s help remove the grey areas!

Another important effect would be introducing more compassion and empathy into the classrooms throughout the UK. It would help teachers support and communicate with students, and signpost them to further help if needed. It would contribute to a more positive society with a higher level of kindness throughout.

Teaching children about death is more important than ever...

Recent events such as death of HRH Queen Elizabeth and the pandemic, have increased awareness of death and dying for a whole generation of young children. During the long lockdown periods, where children were mostly at home with their parents, they were exposed to the 24-hour news cycle including the reporting of daily death rates at certain times. Talking about death can be particularly helpful for children and young people, and issues of bereavement, death and dying should be compulsory learning for children in preparation for life as an adult.

"Children are taught about how life begins through the compulsory PHSE elements of the national curriculum, and we should not shy away from equipping young people with the necessary skills and information to comprehend life ending".

Equipping all young people with the skills to comprehend loss, and preparing them for the emotions and feelings that accompany a death – which at some point in life we all have to do – can only result in a more positive way of living for all of society.

Response to the petition

The response in the short space of time since the petition went live has been overwhelming and it has highlighted the high level of grief being carried by society. I’ve had numerous people getting in touch about the initiative, and many people are now sharing their experiences of when they suffered a loss at a young age.

Despite the sadness that surrounds death, the experience we go through can be better – and now you can help.

Click here to sign the Petition now!

4 Reasons to have discussions about your funeral wishes in advance

Tue, 25 Apr 2023 10:38:15 GMT

"It's never too early to start having these discussions, and doing so can provide peace of mind for both you and your loved ones."

It reduces stress for loved ones

When someone passes away, their loved ones are often left to make difficult decisions regarding funeral arrangements while still grieving. By discussing these arrangements beforehand, you can alleviate some of this stress for your loved ones.

Ensures your wishes are respected

By discussing your funeral arrangements beforehand, you can ensure that your wishes are respected after you pass away. This can include preferences for burial versus cremation, type of service, and other details that are important to you.

Avoids any family conflicts

In some cases, family members may have different opinions about how to handle funeral arrangements, which can lead to conflicts and tension during an already difficult time. By having these discussions beforehand, you can address potential conflicts and come to a consensus on how to proceed.

Helps ease financial planning

Funerals can be expensive, and discussing arrangements beforehand can help you and your loved ones plan financially. You can discuss options for prepaying or setting aside funds to cover the costs of the funeral, which can help alleviate financial burden for your loved ones. Legacy Share does not carry out finances a funeral but you can select your funeral director who will be able to assist you.

The bottom line

Overall, discussing funeral arrangements prior to death is an important step in ensuring that your wishes are respected, reducing stress for loved ones, avoiding conflicts, and providing financial planning. It's never too early to start having these discussions, and doing so can provide peace of mind for both you and your loved ones.

5 reasons why we believe uncomfortable conversations are important

Tue, 25 Apr 2023 10:28:46 GMT

Uncomfortable conversations are important. Here are 5 reasons why legacy Share think its important:

Promoting honesty and authenticity

Uncomfortable conversations often involve topics that are sensitive or difficult to discuss. However, by having these conversations, you can promote honesty and authenticity in your relationships. When you're open and honest about your thoughts and feelings, you create a deeper level of trust and connection with others.

Building stronger relationships

When you have uncomfortable conversations, you're showing a willingness to be vulnerable and engage in difficult conversations. This can help build stronger relationships with those around you, as you're demonstrating a willingness to work through challenges and address problems head-on.

Resolving conflicts

Many uncomfortable conversations involve conflict, whether it's a disagreement with a friend or a difficult conversation with a co-worker. However, by having these conversations, you can work to resolve the conflict and find a path forward that works for everyone involved.

Addressing important issues

Uncomfortable conversations often involve topics that are important but may be difficult to discuss. This can include issues like mental health, substance abuse, or financial problems. By having these conversations, you can address these issues and work to find solutions or seek help when needed.

Encouraging growth and personal development

Having uncomfortable conversations can also encourage growth and personal development. By confronting difficult topics or challenging situations, you can learn more about yourself and others, and develop new skills for communicating effectively and handling difficult situations.

Overall, having uncomfortable conversations can be difficult, but it can also be incredibly important for promoting honesty, building stronger relationships, resolving conflicts, addressing important issues, and encouraging personal growth and development. By approaching these conversations with an open mind and a willingness to listen, you can create deeper connections with others and find solutions to even the most challenging problems.